Don't come looking for me

Before you set out an army to find me
I want you to recall our last encounter
Remember the tremor of my soul
That coupled with goosebumps in my chest
Before you decide to come for me
Remember all those cold nights we had
The quietly whispered fights that shredded only our tears and broke only our hearts.
All those cold words that cut to our guts.
Awakening only that which would burn our souls
So before you come looking for me
Listen rather to your heart
Whose brokenness fights to anchor you still.

Do not come looking for me
Even when the sky turns black
And you recall all the rain we danced so colorfully to
Do not hold your hand out for me
The part of me that loved you fiercely is gone
My hand tremors in your presence
I'm aware of all that beauty we were
I'm convinced of all the pain we left
So don't come looking for me
I will not take your hand

Listen, beautiful things seize with time
Even roses whither with age
Some things end with genuine "I'll miss you" 's
Truly meant but, never implied to hold
So don't come looking for me
I have truly love with you, neither falsely, nor infinitely